6 Steps to Overcoming Feelings of Inadequacy

Every now and then I go through these spells where I feel completely inadequate. I feel my job as a mom is not enough and I get the itch to find gratification outside of my home. This isn’t a bad thing in and of itself except when it causes me to lose sleep, act grouchy and be an all-around buzz kill. I compare myself to the perfect mom in my dreams, I water my weeds as they choke the life out of me.

I’m human, I feel things but I don’t stay there. How do I get through this?

1. Identify the Trigger – For me, the trigger usually changes or rather uncertainty. The anticipation of change but the uncertainty of time. Basically, planning something big but not knowing when it will happen and not being able to stop it. 2 Corinthians 13:5 Examine yourselves, to see whether you are in the faith. Test yourselves. Or do you not realize this about yourselves, that Jesus Christ is in you?—unless indeed you fail to meet the test!
2. Honesty- I am honest with myself and at least one other person about how I feel. Usually, I have to talk through my feelings so I do it with someone that allows me to backtrack and overexplain all while asking probing questions. Ephesians 4:25 ²⁵ Therefore, putting away lying, “Let each one of you speak truth with his neighbor,”^[a] for we are members of one another.
3. Forgiveness – I have made decisions that I wish I’d hadn’t. Maybe I should have taken that class, maybe I shouldn’t have. Either way, I have to forgive myself realizing I made the best choice I could at the time. Romans 8:1 There is therefore now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus,^[a] who do not walk according to the flesh, but according to the Spirit.
4. Action- Forgiveness does not mean without consequence. There are natural consequences of our actions and we should handle them with grace. If there is something I can do I do it! Can I change the situation or make strides in the right direction? If so I do what I can. We can also remove ourselves from any temptations so we don’t repeat our mistakes. Matthew 5:29-30 If your right eye causes you to sin, tear it out and throw it away. For it is better that you lose one of your members than that your whole body is thrown into hell. And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. For it is better that you lose one of your members than that your whole body goes into hell.
5. Acceptance – I can’t fix it all. This means having to accept that some things are simply out of my control. Romans 8:28 And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.
6. Gratitude- This is the most important one and it’s pretty easy to do. Look back at old pictures, make a list, take a walk, whatever it takes to remember all that was overcome. 1 Thessalonians 5:18 In everything give thanks, for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you.

Recognizing this pattern and following these steps helps me keep bad days, from becoming bad weeks. I hope this helps.