Touching God

I am a mother of three little beauties who are currently are 5, 3 and 9 months. I am with them most of the time since I work from home. There may be 4 out of the 24 hours of the day that I am not touched by one of them and that’s being generous. They want to cuddle, sit on my lap as I read, or crawl into my bed in the middle of the night. Sometimes they touch me for NO REASON AT ALL.

What if one day I told my three, “You can’t touch me, only daddy can. If you want to touch me, touch daddy. If you want my guidance, direction, or affirmation, ask daddy. He will ask me and get back to you. If you want to know the plans I have for you ASK. YOUR. DADDY.” Our relationship would be weak based only on daddies availability and filtered only through daddies understanding. God forbid something happen to daddy, they would no longer hear my heart, or know my will. The snippets of filtered understanding they got before would cease to exist.

Now imagine it the other way around. What if my littles ONLY wanted daddy. What if they preferred to ask him to ask me what they should do? What if rather than get a hug directly from me they asked daddy to ask me for proof of my love? What if they became comfortable with this arrangement and only touched me in passing because they were near their daddy. I would be HEARTBROKEN.

By now you get where I am going with this, I’m sure. If you are in a place where your relationship with God is dependent on another person you have to question the legitimacy of your faith. If you can only touch God through they remnant crumbs of another’s personal encounter I am here to tell you there is more.

God wants you to touch Him (Matthew 11:28). In fact He became flesh, and became a sacrifice unto Himself so that you could go directly to Him (John 1:14). You want guidance and direction? Ask Him (Psalm 119:105). If you need affirmation. You are the apple of His eye!( Psalm 139:14) You want an encounter with Him. Seek Him (Matthew 7:7).

Enough stuffing your face with scraps of anointing from the tables of our teachers encounters. Enough being satisfied with Sunday and Wednesday meat and milk. Enough with starving yourself though out the week, then leaving God’s presence unsatisfied!

The morsels are not for you! They are bites to whet the appetite of the unbeliever. The word you hear on Sunday morning should be confirmation of what God has been telling you throughout the week. How else will you know for sure that you are hearing from God through the mouth of your teacher? We have to take responsibility for our faith (Philippians 2:12). We have to stand up in our own lives least our faith be based on another.

Here’s the best part! He never tires of our touch! He doesn’t mind our dirty hands! In fact He says if we seek Him, He will answer! Oh, how He loves us! I encourage you, spend more time with Him, sneak away for moments in His presence. You will be blessed.

Busy or Fruitful?

As a wife, mother, caretaker, and teacher I have “busy” down. I know how to do busy. I can take on a million task willingly and sacrifice time, money and sleep to get things done. Unfortunately, one of the easiest things to overlook is my quiet time with God. Its easy to say going to services a few times a week, joining a daily prayer line and trying to commit my daily Bible verse to memory is enough, but the fact of the matter is it, isn’t.

I will use marriage as an example because my husband is the most important person in my life. If I went out with him while in a group, included him in a group conversation and only knew His characteristics by the insights others shared based on there time with him. Our marriage would be fun at times, even enlightening but it would be far from the truly intimate relationship we desire to have. How then is it okay to devalue our time with God. We should seek after Him like a bride stealing glances at her groom. Looking for opportunities to steal away.

In Luke 10:38-42 Martha, frustrated, asks Jesus to reprimand Mary for sitting in his presence rather than help her serve the group. In verse 41 Jesus says, “Martha, Martha you are worried and troubled about many things.” Busyness equates to worry and being troubled. It is not God’s will for us to be worried in fact His word says the opposite. He instructs us to give Him our cares because He cares for us (1 Peter 5:7). Matthew 11:30 tells us God’s yoke is easy, His burden is light.

If you follow God you should not worry. Worry equals fear. Fear equals hiding or covering, more specifically burying. In Matthew chapter 25 we find a story about a man who buried what his master gave him because he was afraid. We cannot act in fear. It goes against the nature of Christ. If we bury our talents, purpose, callings even if it is by doing good things it leads to bareness in a place where God intended there be fruit.

So how then can we as believers be fruitful?

There is really only one way. Spend one on one time with God. I recently had a friend ask me what my time with God looks like. Everyone is different but I love to start with worship. I spend time acknowledging who God is, thanking Him, talking about my hopes, and concerns then I ask His will. I read His word and just sit in silence waiting for Him to give me an impression. Then I confirm if it is God by reading and studying His word.

Luke 10:42 tells us to choose the good thing, which is spending time with God. Romans 8:14 lets us know, sons of God are led by His spirit. John 10:27 lets us know that if we are Gods sheep we follow His voice. 2 Timothy 2:15 tells us to study the word of God.

He wants to know us and He wants us to know Him. If what you are doing does not enhance your relationship with God there is no good fruit in it.

Why I Can’t Follow My Peace

I like peace. I like things to go smoothly, people to be happy and everyone to get along. Naive? Maybe. Unrealistic? Definitely! So now I am in a position where I have to willingly disturb the peace.

When I pray, I always ask for God’s will to be done. I want what He wants and I realize that doesn’t always look like what I think it should. It does not require, my input or opinion but it does require my faith and action. It does not require my peace. 

Matthew 10:34 Do not think that I came to bring peace on earth. I did not come to bring peace but a sword. 35 For I have come to ‘set a man against his father, a daughter against her mother, and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law’; 36 and ‘a man’s enemies will be those of his own household.’ 37 He who loves father or mother more than Me is not worthy of Me. And he who loves son or daughter more than Me is not worthy of Me. 38 And he who does not take his cross and follow after Me is not worthy of Me. 39 He who finds his life will lose it, and he who loses his life for My sake will find it.

Doing what God requires always causes division somewhere. It is human nature to measure the good against the bad and to use our wisdom to justify our actions or inaction. However, when we use God’s Word as the standard there is no justification. We WILL fall short but upon noticing where we fall short it is our duty as believers to measure ourselves against The Word and then allow God to pull us up. 

This is our cross to bear, to choose to step out of what comfortable and to do instead what is right. To stand alone if necessary to follow Christ. Not hiding behind the authority of parents or the responsibility of raising children but deciding instead to choose Christ above all else.

So how can I produce peace if I have none? Isn’t peace a fruit of the spirit (Galatians 5:22-23)? Peace, real peace, not the superficial fleeting peace based on feelings that change with the situation. Real peace is rooted in faith that you are doing what God wants you to do and that if you aren’t, God knowing your heart will correct you. 

Real peace is a reward for obedience, not a prerequisite for action. 

Good Intentions

As  I am visiting with a friend I hear the water running outside
I yell out the screen door. “KJ turn off that water!” “Okay mom!” He replies and I hear the faucet is being shut off. A few minutes later I hear the water running again.
“KJ!”
“Yes mommy?”
“Is that water back on?”
“Yes.” He sighs knowing he is in big trouble.
“Come inside and go get in the bed until I come talk to you.”
“I was just trying to water the grass,” he mumbles as he comes in and goes to his room.

I turn to my friend an explain to her KJ’s position.

“I was just trying to water the grass, after all in the heat of summer the grass is now in patches in the backyard. The grass needed water. What was the big deal? I was being helpful. I was doing what needed to be done. I took initiative and now I am being punished for it. I don’t understand.”

As I went on and on she stopped me and said, “Okay, okay I get it.”

See this is how we are when it comes to things that God tells us not to do. We hear it all the time, “the road to hell is paved with good intentions.” In fact that is one of my favorite quotes. The problem wasn’t that he was watering the grass. He was being disobedient. He thought he could see and understand things I couldn’t. He was mistaken. Isn’t this how we are with God. We see an opportunity and though God tells us to stop, wait, or move we decide on our own. We know He is older than us, wiser than us, stronger than us but we still want to do what we feel is right based on the information we have on hand. Isaiah 55:8-9

My sweet boy had forgotten that just a few days earlier as soon as the sprinklers were turned off a very large snake crossed the yard. He does not realize that our state is in a drought and he has absolutely no idea that the water he is frivolously using is a utility that needs to be paid for. In his mind he was doing the right thing.

It blesses me so much when God allows me to see myself in my children, because once I see myself in them I am better able to respond to them as close as I can to the way God responds to me.

State Testing

Why are test so stressful?! Today SJ’s education specialist from the charter school came by to give her a kindergarten assessment. So a few things happened.

First the ES per an earlier conversation was supposed to be here at 9am but she sends me a text at 8:50 asking if “can meet today?” Hint: She isn’t coming at 9 so we start our school day late because of course I spent the early morning running around cleaning, and getting the kids dressed.

**I have a confession, most days when we are not leaving the house I let my kids wear what they want. Today I picked their clothes with little protest from them because they were excited to have a visitor.**

So I start school late, get them through all but science and our ES comes at 11:30. In the previous post you can see we end our school day by noon because I have noticed that after that time it is very difficult to get my kids to sit still or listen to anything instructive. They prefer to go outside and play, go figure. So she shows up to test SJ who immediately goes into “what can I get away with” mode.

Now I’m frustrated, SJ is restless and the ES is ready to give her the assessment. She starts with asking SJ letters that are mixed up, SJ does good missing only one or two after declaring that she wanted to do something else.

She goes from what the letters are to how each letter sounds, same result. SJ is then presented with short vowel words and asked to sound them out. She does the first one, skips the next two and gets the fourth right. She doesn’t want to read the long vowel words at all and by the time we get to the sight words the only ones she wants to say is “a” and “is”.

So I am sitting there frustrated because my ability to teach my child is wrapped up in this assessment presented by an ES who has just met my child and has no idea how brilliant she is! I desperately need this affirmation so that I can  prove to the imaginary “perfect mom” in my head that I can best her. So here I am asking myself why this test was so important.

 See my identity is not wrapped up in what I do, how smart I am or how well my child scores on an assessment. My identity is wrapped in I Am and I homeschool my children not for my glorification but for His. I guess the test wasn’t for SJ at all. I hope I passed.

Marriage Talk

Punishment or Consequence

Today my little KJ got in trouble about 30 minutes before nap time. His consequence was that he was no longer allowed to play and had to go to bed. He cried and screamed, calming down only to hear my decision and apologize. Then he asked me for cuddles.

 Cuddles?! Little boy don’t you know you are in trouble? Don’t you know what you did was wrong and you made me mad? Though it was just a moment, it was at this moment I had a choice to discipline or to punish my son.

See he already was informed about the consequence of his actions and he was experiencing that hurt but would me withholding my physical affection be to further add to the lesson or would it be in retaliation. A response based out of my anger rather than my love. So I caved…..

As I held him in my arms I began to think of how familiar this situation is in my life. I’ve made decisions and suffered consequences but God has never withdrawn his affection for me. Two scriptures whispered in my heart as I held this sweet, growing boy in my arms.

 “I will never, leave you or forsake you…” Heb. 13:5
Even when I mess up, even as I am experiencing the results of my decisions?
“I will never, leave you or forsake you…”
Even when I scream and yell with my life, or when I throw a tantrum with my actions?
 “I will never, leave you or forsake you…”

 The other scripture I was reminded of was Romans 8:1 “There is therefore no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh but after the Spirit.”

To condemn someone means to sentence them to punishment. My boy who has not yet decided to live his life in Christ sees first my example of God’s love. Through his 2 year old eyes, he cannot discern discipline from punishment. So, I must teach him. Though his actions may cause some unpleasant reactions God’s love wont fail, and this must be demonstrated through both my action and reactions.

New Shoes

These shoes, these very cute shoes belong to Summer and they are two small. At the ripe young age of two years old SJ loves shoes especially this pair, which she’s outgrown. 

I’m sitting here watching her try to squeeze into these too small shoes. I’ve tried explaining they’re too small, they will be uncomfortable if she gets them on and though they’re cute they are no longer good for her growing feet. This is when God tapped me on the shoulder. 

Have you ever been in a comfortable place to long? Have you felt God prompting you to move? To go into a new season? To grow into something means you grow out of something. I, like all of you, have a comfort zone. This place is cozy and comfortable but every now and then things get too tight and then things change.

The Israelites had a comfort zone and they were pushed way out of it. Cool thing is where they were going was greater than where they’d left. They were in slavery but had gotten comfortable operating in bondage. In the same way we get comfortable operating in sin. When they’d reached a point of discomfort God created a way of escape and gave them the opportunity to obtain something better. Some of us are operating in relationships, jobs, or seasons we’ve outgrown but we try to remain there because it’s comfortable. 

God doesn’t want you comfortable, he wants you thriving. He doesn’t want you in bondage He wants you to operate in freedom. He doesn’t want you to be a borrower, He wants you to be a lender. God doesn’t want you where you are, He wants you to thrive in His promise for your life. 

Unfortunately, the Israelites that were freed from captivity didn’t enter the promised land, they could not let go of their comfort zone enough to go in; but you can. You can decide now, today to leave where you are spiritually, physically, relationally, emotionally and decide to walk into Gods promise for you. 

You can decide to accept God into your heart and make a decision today to leave the comfort of sin and walk instead in the freedom of love. What God has for you is so much better than what you can get for yourself. Take off those uncomfortable shoes, Gods got you a new pair. 

I hurt!

“I hurt! I hurt! I hurt!” My two year olds screams echo through the house as she begs for a bandaid to cover…a scar. She is doing this to put off nap time but it made me take a look at myself. See this is an old scar, from a self inflated wound, it’s a small scar, but to her its huge especially when a challenge arrives. 

How many times have we screamed to God that we’re hurting over a situation He has already healed? How many times do we use the excuse of past pain as a reason to disobey what God is telling us to do. We yell, “I hurt! I hurt!” While God is prompting us to walk in our healing and obey. Scars serve a evidence of a past offense but they also serve as a reminder of God’s grace and our overcoming a hurt. That place where the scar is, is stronger and it’s mark serves as a badge of triumph. So stop screaming it hurts, suck it up, and obey. 

1 Peter 2:24 who Himself bore our sins in His own body on the tree, that we, having died to sins, might live for righteousness—by whose stripes you were healed. 

Romans 5:3-5 And not only that, but we also glory in tribulations, knowing that tribulation produces perseverance; and perseverance, character; and character, hope. Now hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit who was given to us. 

Shine Through

This week my husband spoke at his first leaders conference. Despite being nervous he did an excellent job. Later we talked about steps he could take to be more comfortable on stage when he expressed this very humble concern. He wants to be comfortable enough to effective but he doesn’t want to be so comfortable that he presents himself more than he shares what God is using him to say.

As I prayed and thought about this conversation I realized, not presenting yourself in any situation is very hard to do. Especially with parenting. Our children know more about us than anyone else, save our spouses. They know what makes us happy or sad. They know if we have a temper or if we use harsh language. Our kids see us at our most comfortable, in our most vulnerable state. They should see through us, the love of Christ.

Deuteronomy 6:4-9 “Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one! You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your strength. “And these words which I command you today shall be in your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up. You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates. 

Our love for God should invade our lives so much that it seeps into our conversations with our children, that it’s evident in our dealings with them and around them. They should know our love for God and more importantly Gods love for them. 

Father, 

We love you. Thank you for being the wonderful parent you are and for showing us how to be parents through your word. Shine through us and touch the hearts of our children, use us to show them your unfailing love. We love you, we thank you, and we can’t do this without you. Amen.